As difficult as it is to think about, sometimes adoption simply does not work out as intended. What happens if an adoptive family determines their family is not able to adequately care for a child placed in their home? Or, what happens when a child’s adoptive parent(s) pass away unexpectedly, leaving the child as a legal orphan? These and other circumstances can give rise to the child being adopted into a new family – a second adoption.
Sometimes, second adoptions occur because of diagnoses or behaviors that are outside of the first adoptive family’s ability to manage. In rare circumstances, this may be a diagnosis or behavior that was known prior to the adoption but not disclosed, or it could involve behaviors that did not manifest until after the placement. As mentioned in this article, children with Reactive Attachment Disorder who are moved (i.e., from orphanages, prior foster families and other circumstances) may view the family who removed them as the enemy, despite the family’s intention to provide the child with permanency and stability. Sometimes, after years of therapy and other services, families determine that a fresh start for the child with a new family may be the child’s only hope of finding the stability and security that child so deeply craves due to an inability to bond with the first adoptive family. This could be placement with relatives or close friends of the first adoptive family, or it could be a waiting adoptive family previously unknown to the first adoptive family. If a family feels an adoption may be in jeopardy of disruption, we strongly recommend utilizing resources that exist to provide customized support plans to try to stabilize the initial adoptive placement.
Other times, second adoptions occur due to the passing or severe illness of the first adoptive parent(s). Commonly in this scenario, a relative or close friend of the first adoptive parent(s) adopts the child and provides the child with renewed permanency and stability in light of the loss of the first adoptive parent(s).
Second adoptions tend to involve a wide breadth of emotions, as one can imagine. Under the first scenario discussed above, these are typically excruciating decisions for the first adoptive family to reach and are usually made only after years of trying therapy and other services to preserve the family. Difficult discussions need to be had before any new placement occurs, which prioritize the healing and best interest of the child as the paramount concern. It is typically recommend that therapy and support services be put in place before the placement occurs as well, to ensure as smooth a transition as possible in light of the difficult circumstances. As these services can be costly, second adoptive families should be made aware of resources, including adoption assistance, that may be available to help offset the expenses associated with these supportive services. (See our prior blog post.)
The goal of every adoption professional is to ensure a child is placed in a loving, stable and secure environment. Full disclosure to the adoption professional by all parties in the adoption triad is paramount to ensuring this goal is effectuated.
